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Glee: Funk
mjacton

Spoiler Alert!

Last night's episode brought out the fight in New Directions setting us up for Regionals next week.  There were many fun elements to last night's episode, some funny, some bizarre, some hot (Lea Michele in short shorts!) and some kind of unexpected (Quinn's solo).  I think it was the perfect episode to lead up to the season finale next week.  I don't remember ever not looking forward to a season finale, but I'm really not.  It means a whole summer without new Glee!  Plus, I'm a little nervous about the three additional characters they're supposedly introducing in Season 2.  The cast is already pretty big.  I hope they don't crowd out some of the better original characters.  Enough of the negative thoughts.   I'm sure it'll work out, and Glee will still be Glee.

WMHS Hallway/April Rhodes Community Pavilion (ARCP)/Practice Room
Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, and Artie are talking about Regionals and how the Ohio show choir chat rooms are buzzing about how Vocal Adrenaline has lost a step and New Directions may have a chance to beat them.  Just as Kurt is saying that since Jesse has defected to New Directions, Vocal Adrenaline is in even more trouble, Rachel appears, and she's panicked.  She calls all the gleeks to the ARCP.  No one's sure what's happening, but they go anyway.

In the auditorium, they gleeks are all gathered and wondering why Vocal Adrenaline is on their stage.  Jesse steps forward out of the crowd of Vocal Adrenaline (VA) members and announces that he's gone back to them.  He apparently is angry that the members of New Directions didn't accept or listen to his ideas.  I was kind of confused by this, but I guess this was a better way for Jesse to transition back to VA than the old "I like you, but I have to think about my future" kind of thing I had imagined would happen.  This just seemed kind of sudden.

Anyway, Jesse announces that VA has not lost a step at all.  In fact, they're better than ever.  They launch into an energetic, but kind of mechanical if you ask me, rendition of "Another One Bites the Dust."  When they finish, the gleeks look stunned.  It was probably the best VA performance so far.  One of the VA girls says, "Thanks for letting us use your auditorium, guys.  It's quaint."  While the rest of his glee club is walking off the stage, Jesse stares down Rachel with a look of sadness that turns into anger.  Rachel looks hopeful at first that Jesse will at least give her something to let her know their relationship meant something, but it quickly turned to pain when she realized they really were done.

On their way back to the practice room, Artie explains that this isn't the first time Vocal Adrenaline has done this kind of thing.  They annually visit their stiffest competition's auditorium and put on a show.  This sends the competition into a "deep, black funk."  It's called Funkification.  Kurt tries to keep their spirits up, but as they enter the practice room, they see it has been TP'd.



The gleeks are cleaning up the practice room, becoming more and more depressed as they work.  Mr. Schue offers that they only did because New Directions has them scared.  Mercedes disagrees.  She says the number was "fantastic," but then she wonders how they even got in.  Enter Sue Sylvester.  "Well, I gave 'em all keys, helped them to a sound check over the weekend."  Behind her, a group of students is trailing behind her, and she's going to knock out a wall.  When Will questions her, she informs him that cheerleading Nationals are that weekend, and when they win and New Directions loses at Regionals, she's taking over the practice room for a trophy annex that drafting class is going to design.  After Sue further insults the gleeks, Will asks if he could see the trophy she's carrying.  When she says yes, he takes it and throws it against the wall, shocking even his team.  Sue remains unfazed.  "You know, trophies are like herpes.  You try to get rid of them, but they just keep coming."

Schuester Apartment
Will and Terri sign their divorce papers.  This scene drags out making the viewer wonder if one of the Schuesters is going to try to reconcile, but in the end they both sign.  They're officially divorced.  Terri walks around the table and kisses Will on the forehead, telling him he'll always be the 16-year-old boy she fell in love with.  I think that may be the problem.

Practice Room
Will enters and announces he wants to talk about regrets.

Will:  "Who has some?"
Rachel:  "Giving my heart to Jesse just to have it crushed like the stage floor of a performance of Stomp."
Quinn:  "Thinking, 'Trust me' was a sensible birth control option."

Will interjects.  His regret is marrying Terri.  Terri kept him down, and he regrets not fighting back.  Santana asks why he's telling them this, besides to "creep them out."  It's because he doesn't them to have regrets, and if they admit defeat now they will regret it.  He wants them to hit them back.  Quinn wonders if he means they should TP their choir room, he says "whatever the better, cooler version of that is."  He suggests stealing their school statue, but that turns out to be too heavy.  Puck decides he should take responsibility for taking revenge on Vocal Adrenaline with Finn's help, even though they still "hate each other for some reason."  They slash the tires on all the cars belonging to the Carmel High glee club.

Figgins' Office
Puck and Finn have been caught, and Puck immediately confesses but isn't sorry.  Shelby Corcoran and Will are there, and Shelby angrily points out that only a few of the Vocal Adrenaline members participated in the destruction in the choir room.  Figgins immediately declares the boys expelled because they committed a felony.  Shelby says she doesn't want anyone expelled, and she suggests New Directions' budget pay for the damages (200x26x4=$20,800).  When Will says that will bankrupt the club, Finn says they'll get jobs to pay for it if she can wait a month.

Commercial break

Somewhere in a Dark Corner at WMHS/Practice Room
Sandy Ryerson is trying to convince Will not to buy some of his Chronic Lady pot.  Apparently, Will is more depressed than he's willing to admit to his students.  Sandy tells Will that Vocal Adrenaline has a weakness, and it's that they don't perform with passion.  Back in the practice room, Will gives the gleeks a new assignment.  Come up with a funk number because they can do it much better than Vocal Adrenaline can because it's all about anger and passion.  Mercedes volunteers first, but Quinn, unexpectedly, speaks up.  She thinks she can do it better.  She's angry about how people treat her now that she's pregnant, and she's offended that Mercedes has decided that because she's black, she's the only one who can do anger.  She'll something prepared by the next day.

As they disperse, Will calls Rachel into his office to discuss her mood.  She's the leader, and she needs to use her anger instead of wallowing in it like she's doing now.  She launches into a speech about how Jesse had just been trying to break New Directions by breaking the heart of the person at the heart of the team.  While she was going on and on as only Rachel Berry can do about losing her will to live, Will was hatching plan based on what Rachel believed Jesse had done to her.

Practice Room
The lights are dim, and Will is putting the finishing touches on some sheet music when Sue enters.  She thought she was there to discuss an "illegal hot Cheetos ring" because hot Cheetos supposedly raise endorphins which makes for happy kids, and Sue won't stand for it.  Will starts to leave, but he suddenly stops and stares at her.  He tells her that in the soft light she looks stunning.  After flattering her, he asks her opinion on something..  She agrees reluctantly to give him the two minutes he asks for.  He presses play on the boom box.  He puts on a pretty disturbing show for Sue with "Tell Me Something Good."  By the end, Sue is enamored with Will even though she tries in vain to seem bored.  Will's plan is working.  When Sue leaves, Will looks disgusted but satisfied.

Commercial break

Sheets 'n' Things
Terri is showing Puck and Finn how to fold linens.  She tells them she hired them only because they "work for less than immigrants."  She needs to be promoted to manager to maintain her lifestyle now that she's officially divorced.  Howard Bamboo approaches Terri complaining that the customer that gave him Bell's Palsy is back, and Terri orders Howard to help him because he's their best customer.  Terri leaves, and Howard orders Finn and Puck to help the customer because he has seniority over them.  The customer turns out to be Sandy Ryerson.  Sandy is redoing is bathroom has an homage to Jayne Mansfield, and he needs the item he's holding in a different shade of pink.  He then demands that they turn on the Musak because he can't shop without his Kenny G.  Puck turns on the P.A. system, which plays an instrumental version of Beck's "I'm a Loser," which he and Finn along with Howard and Terri and Sandy (and everyone in the store), sing along to, with Puck on the guitar.  Terri changes the music to something operatic, and when Puck is still lost in a daze as if the music hasn't changed, she says "I thought Jews were supposed to be smart."

Next, Terri sees a mirage of Will in a Sheets 'n' Things uniform asking her to show him how to fold a sham.  It's actually Finn, and she magically sees him in a new light.  It's funny because Jessalyn Gilsig, who plays Terri, just recently did an interview in which she scoffed at the idea of hooking up with either Finn or Puck because they were children.  But, here she is obviously attracted to Finn.

Sue's Office
Sue writes in her journal that she has, inexplicably, has feelings for her sworn enemy, Will Schuester.  As she's pouring her heart out on the page, Will enters her office.  He gives her flowers, which she's not interested in, but then he offers her her a tub of her favorite protein shake.  He had to drive to Dayton for her favorite flavor, appletini.  She falls further into his trap.  He asks her on a date, and she accepts.  Again, it's creepy but brilliant, something Glee is quickly becoming know for.

Commercial break

Sheets 'n' Things
Terri is watching Finn, pretending to be interested in critiquing his folding, but she's really just admiring his physical attributes.  He stops because his heart isn't in his job.  He's worried about glee club.  When he mentions glee, she gets frustrated.  When Finn looks confused, she interprets it as taking offense at what she says.  So, she apologizes because she doesn't want to keep crushing people's dreams since she realizes that's how she destroyed her marriage (and apparently coming on to a sixteen-year-old boy is going to help her get over that).  He compliments her, and she offers to help him find a funk number.  She also promotes Finn to assistant assistant manager over Howard.

Practice Room
It's time for Quinn to show her "funky side."  Will calls on her, and she summons her friends from the "Unwed Mothership (Mother Ship?) Connection" [ETA: Apparently, this is a reference to a Parliament album and song.] to help her sing "It's a Man's World."  The gleeks, especially Artie and Mercedes, are unconvinced that Quinn can summon the anger and soul to pull the song off.  In fact, Artie and Mercedes are offended because they feel like Quinn doesn't have nearly as much to be mad at the world about as they do, but by the time her song is finished, everyone but Mercedes feels Quinn's pain.  They gather around her to try to comfort her.  Mercedes just looks hurt.

Breadsticks/Will's apartment
Sue (in a track suit with pearls around her neck as the only indication that she's on a date) is sitting in a booth waiting.  A waitress tells her that her date isn't coming, and she either needs to order or leave.  She leaves.  Will is watching TV waiting for a knock on the door, and when it comes he grins slyly.  Sue storms in ranting about how he humiliated her in public.  "Gosh, Sue, I wonder where I learned that," Will responds.  He tells her he's just getting back at her for meddling with not just the glee club but his marriage and relationship with Emma.  He tried not to be cruel, but it seems cruelty is all that works with her.  "Consider this a little taste of what you love dishing out."  She leaves still trying to maintain her facade of invincibility, but she's clearly breaking.

Commercial break

WMHS Hallway
Will is walking to class but sees Santana clearly distraught.  She's wearing her Cheerios uniform, but her hair isn't in its usual pony tail.  And, she's weeping and muttering incoherently.  Several other Cheerios are crying, too.  Kurt is wearing his Cheerios uniform, but he's the only one who doesn't seem to be as affected as the others.  He tells Will that Sue hasn't been to school in days, and he's fine because of glee but the others are relying on the Cheerios to be their ticket to something greater after high school.  Brittany passes in front of them wearing her uniform backwards and seemingly trying desperately for JewFro to become her next sexual conquest (ew!).  Kurt says it's hard to feel sorry for Sue, but he feels sorry for the girls who might lose scholarships because Sue is having a breakdown.

Practice Room
Finn and Puck want to sing his funk song next, and Mercedes is going to help him.  They sing Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch's "Good Vibration."  When they're done, Will reminds them that the song isn't funk.  Puck agrees it isn't, but it's good old school rap.  Artie asks if it really matters.  They need something because they're so depressed they can't even be funky.  They're in deeper than they thought.

WMHS Library
Quinn is sitting at a table sadly staring at a book.  Mercedes sits down across from her, seemingly still mad at her.  Quinn quickly apologizes.  She's only been a pregnant outcast for nine months.  Mercedes has been dealing with the feelings she's having for her whole life.  Mercedes tells Quinn that she's not really angry, just hurt.  She needs a safe place to "dig through all that rage."  She offers to let Quinn move into her house.  This is, undeniably, the next logical step in their blossoming friendship, but I honestly didn't expect this.  I'm happy about it, though, because it means Quinn can finally get past her obligation to Puck.  After this episode, I hate Puck less.  I always thought he had good qualities, but I just really didn't like how he treated Quinn.  Now, it seems like Quinn is now putting a little separation between them.  Maybe later, these two people who shared this experience of making a baby can be friends, but I think this is good for now.

Sue's house
Will rings the doorbell at Sue's place.  A Mexican housekeeper (I'm not even going to try to go there) answers the door.  Sue's house is full of trophies.  It's like Hoarders only instead of junk, her floors and book cases are full of trophies.  Will asks to see Sue, and the housekeeper directs him to her bedroom.  He enters and somehow manages to apologize to her.  He tells her that the Cheerios need her to take them to Nationals, and she grabs a bullhorn and orders the housekeeper to make her two shakes to go.

WMHS Hallway/Parking Lot
Rachel's cell phone rings.  It's Jesse.  He tells her to meet him in the parking lot.  When she sees him, she begins a slow motion run to him fully expecting that he'll gather her in his arms, and all be right with them again.  It doesn't happen.  Instead, an egg hits her in the back of the head.  The rest of Vocal Adrenaline approaches from their hiding places and pummel her with their eggs.  When Jesse walks up to her with his egg, she's fully deflated.  She tells him to go ahead and get it over with.  He hesitates for just a second.  "I loved you," he declares but angrily breaks the egg over her head while she tries not break down in front of them.

Commercial break

Practice Room
Rachel is recounting her horror, and the gleeks are angry.  Puck tells Finn, Mike and Matt to come with him.  They're going to go after Vocal Adrenaline, and Artie and Kurt join them.  When Will tries to stop them, Kurt says Rachel is one of them so only they can humiliate her, but no one else can.  He demands they sit down.  "Making someone else suffer doesn't make your pain go away," he tells them.  Finn says they "can't let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelet."  Will says they're not going to, and he tells Rachel to dial Jesse's number.  She does (Santana asks, "You haven't deleted his number yet?"), and Will tells Jesse to have Vocal Adrenaline in the WMHS auditorium Friday at 3:00.

Will's Apartment/Practice Room
Sue is being interviewed on TV because the Cheerios won Nationals largely due to a "14 1/2 minute Celine Dion medley entirely in French."  The interviewer asks where she's going to put the "mammoth, sky-scraping trophy."  She says she knows just the place, and just then the doorbell rings.  It's Sue with Brittany and Santana in tow--also, a male Cheerio carrying said trophy.  Sue tells the three Cheerios to get out, and she gives Will two choices.  He can either kiss her ("on the lips with tongue") or display her trophy in the choir room.  He chooses to kiss her, first making sure she won't tell anyone.  As they're about to kiss, she pulls back and tells him she can't do it.  So, the trophy is installed in the choir room in a bullet-proof case, with "I'm a Loser" playing in his head.

ARCP
Vocal Adrenaline is sitting in the audience seats listening to Rachel telling them they're going to do the one thing New Directions knows that Vocal Adrenaline can't do.  Cue "We Want the Funk" complete with Soul-Train style choreography.  It's energetic like Vocal Adrenaline's performance, but it has an anger and soul (funk) that Vocal Adrenaline's performs did not have.

Jesse:  They did a funk number.  We've never been able to pull off a funk number.
VA Girl:  Well, that's because we're soulless automatons.
Jesse:  I'm so depressed.

Favorite Sue Sylvester Lines (Sue was back with a vengeance)
Referring to the new trophy annex (choir room)You know what it has to look likeElvis's gold record room at Graceland, except I'll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying...

Glee clubbers, for those of you whose hearing has now been damaged by massive doses of Accutane, listen up...

For me trophies are like herpesYou can try to get rid of them, but they just keep comin'.  You know why?  Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of some burning, itchy, highly-contagious talent.

WillLook, nobody got hurtIt was a harmless prank.
SueThat's what they said about a certain young man in Chicago in 1871 who thought he'd play a harmless prank on the dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary.  He successfully ignited its flatulence, and a city burned, WilliamThat young terrorist went on to become the first gay President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.

Hot Cheetos have been proven to raise endorphins which makes for happy kids, and I can't have that.

In Voice OverDear Journal, something strange happened yesterdayI felt something below the neck...I admit in the past, I've fantasized about waking up with Will's head on the pillow next to me, except now I picture it attached to the rest of his body.

To Will...Though I completely loathe you, you'd make a great trophy husband, and as you can see by my decor, I love me some trophies.

I'm all about finding a freakish, depressed kid and showing him what winning's all about.

Favorite Line
Rachel (spooked because she's a vegan)And now I just keep having nightmares of all of the mothers of the little baby chicks coming after me for revenge.

Musical Recap
"Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen--As mentioned before, this was probably Vocal Adrenaline's best performance, but it was typically mechanical.

"Tell me Something Good" by Chaka Khan and Rufus--I think Matthew Morrison (Will) redeemed himself with this performance from the "Ice, Ice Baby" debacle from "Bad Reputation."

"I'm a Loser" by Beck--A little weird but fun.

"It's a Man's World" by James Brown--This was a revelation.  Some people may be weirded out a little by the choreography, but Dianna Agron (Quinn) does fantastic job here.  A lot of her fans have been complaining about her lack of screen time in the back nine, but I think they've used her brilliantly.  And she'll have more to do next episode, like give birth, I'm guessing.

"Good Vibration" by Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch--I think Finn is better rapping than singing.  And Mercedes is always fun to listen to when she can belt.

"Give up the Funk" by George Clinton and Parliament-Funkadelic (or P-Funk)--This was really, really good.  And did I mention Lea Michele in short shorts?  Oh yeah, I did.






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